early sat morning

yet again.
like it always works out to be.
i lose my temper.
she admits i fucked up.
and things go from bad to worse.

over and over again.
i'm so tired of all these,
yet i still can't find a solution.
its been,
hmmm,
1,2,3,4. blablabla.
probably uncountable.

why the fuck does shit like these have to keep coming back to haunt me?
argh.
fuck you konrad.
you're a piece of shit.

early saturday morning.

i really don't understand why do things have to be like this always.
i wished i had all the time in the world.
so that things wouldn't be like how they are.
i'm trying so hard sometimes.
there hasn't been once,
that i have not gave my all.
and yet,
it isn't enough.
maybe i'm really that fucked up.
its always me,
screwing things up.
its always me,
not being able to meet your needs.
its always me,
being the insensitive one.

the things that've happened recently. just reminds me of the past. i can't help but to think back, and i find myself back at square one. what've i done wrong. its deja-vu all over.

i feel so so so fucked now.
argh.