early saturday morning

life's been pretty shit recently. there's so many things on my mind and i wished i could run away from all these and leave it behind. i tried so hard everyday, but it never seemed to work. thanks for all those who've been there, i really appreciate it. i really don't know what to do... i'm losing my mind.



i wished that i could say i still love you like i do yesterday... i keep thinking of the good memories and try to stay away from the bad ones. surely and silently, i'm breaking down and tears have fallen... i just want you to give me something to believe in, something that would direct me away from the negative thoughts, something that would keep me away from wanting to leave... i can't continue on like these anymore... i love you but i'm sorry... things just hasn't been working out for the past few months, i've tried my very best... but it just feels like a slap in the face each time because i fail to cheer you up. i know i shouldn't give up because i've never did for the past 3 years... but i'm really tired... of being the one thats trying with all his heart and soul to cheer you up everyday, of being the one whom keeps getting hurt and being the one whom always gives in.



all i ask for is for you to be who you once were. the girl i so deeply loved, the girl i was so crazy for...



i love you shan pheng. i really do.

but...



i'm sorry that i've been such a big failure.