early tuesday morning.

heya.
i'm actually having really big contemplations on the frame i should be getting.
somehow i wished to get a transition double, and continue riding bmx.
or get a ns capital or usb molly.
shit man. i wished i would get sponsored by some mtb company in singapore so i wouldn't need to contemplate so much on frames.

ahhh. enlistment is 38days away. i wished i had more time now. i was looking forward to it. til i met this special girl. this girl literally blew me away like no one else ever did. i never expected myself to actually feel this way bout things. time is super limited. i only wished i had more time to get to know her better. but sigh. i don't know. i'm actually really worried bout how things would work out. i kinda regretted not holding her hand on the walk home. i blew my chance. ahhh. oh fuck. maybe you just think too much konrad... well... everyday, i'm falling deeper and hoping that this would somehow work out well. i really don't wanna lose someone else that i care so much for. but, you just make me feel that everything's gonna be okay. before i met you, my life was in pieces. whole year has been shit, and i thought ns would occupy me enough to actually help me forget my troubles. but then you came along. and everything just seemed so... right. i've never been happier the entire year. i wished i could tell you that i wanna be your guy, but somehow i just don't feel good enough either... a part of me has been lost over the past few years. and thats confidence. slowly but surely, i hope to gain it back. nevertheless, there'll always be a special place for you in my heart.

tell me, that you want me as much as i want you to be a part of my life.
and i'll give you my all.
i promise.
i meant it when i said i'm going head over heels for you.
and baby, you're that special girl.
<3.