life's been pretty shit recently. there's so many things on my mind and i wished i could run away from all these and leave it behind. i tried so hard everyday, but it never seemed to work. thanks for all those who've been there, i really appreciate it. i really don't know what to do... i'm losing my mind.
i wished that i could say i still love you like i do yesterday... i keep thinking of the good memories and try to stay away from the bad ones. surely and silently, i'm breaking down and tears have fallen... i just want you to give me something to believe in, something that would direct me away from the negative thoughts, something that would keep me away from wanting to leave... i can't continue on like these anymore... i love you but i'm sorry... things just hasn't been working out for the past few months, i've tried my very best... but it just feels like a slap in the face each time because i fail to cheer you up. i know i shouldn't give up because i've never did for the past 3 years... but i'm really tired... of being the one thats trying with all his heart and soul to cheer you up everyday, of being the one whom keeps getting hurt and being the one whom always gives in.
all i ask for is for you to be who you once were. the girl i so deeply loved, the girl i was so crazy for...
i love you shan pheng. i really do.
but...
i'm sorry that i've been such a big failure.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
mid monday morning
hello everyone! good morning!
ahh. haven't been blogging for so long, anyway, i went shopping already, got a new crumpler complete seed, 2 jeans, 2 tops, davidoff edt and a pair of slippers. weee. hehe. anyway! ahh, been working for the past weeks til late so i didn't have the time to blog, and damn, i'm waiting for my pay to come. gotta pay for my new wheels man. haha. ah, i bought a mtb too, pics gonna be up soon.
i don't really have much to say except that school is starting, aiyo. and i'm still working on weekdays, i haven't even got time to ride my bike, and i've been missing my girlfriend so much. ahhh. baby! meet me soon okay? =)
anyway, gotta go off. blog again tomorrow or something during class! ciao!
signed, sealed & delivered @ 10.45am.
ahh. haven't been blogging for so long, anyway, i went shopping already, got a new crumpler complete seed, 2 jeans, 2 tops, davidoff edt and a pair of slippers. weee. hehe. anyway! ahh, been working for the past weeks til late so i didn't have the time to blog, and damn, i'm waiting for my pay to come. gotta pay for my new wheels man. haha. ah, i bought a mtb too, pics gonna be up soon.
i don't really have much to say except that school is starting, aiyo. and i'm still working on weekdays, i haven't even got time to ride my bike, and i've been missing my girlfriend so much. ahhh. baby! meet me soon okay? =)
anyway, gotta go off. blog again tomorrow or something during class! ciao!
signed, sealed & delivered @ 10.45am.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
early thursday morning
sup y'all.
ahhh. i'm so bored. i don't ride much nowadays, i don't really go out often, oh my, life is becoming dull. fuck probation seriously, because of it, my life is screwing up because i can't do the usual things that i like doing. anyway, got a job down at barracks, which is this restaurant at dempsey road, across botanic gardens, ah, pay's good. 7bucks per hour and its almost 14hours a day and 6 day a week, niceee. my new bike is gonna come sooner or later, i got so much stuffs to buy, itouch, a new nano, shuffle, new jeans and i fucking need a new pair of kicks. ahhh. so little money but yet so much stuffs to buy. timetable is shit for next sem too. even though it starts lateat 10 bout everyday, it ends bout 4. i had rather start early and end early. argh. the 2 retained modules are sucha pain in the ass. gotta take my maths with freshies too.
i so wanna ride nowadays, but i've lost that motivaton that kick started my bmx life 6months ago. i can't be bothered to learn my 360s. i just don't feel the want to push myself anymore. ahhh. i don't know whats happening. school's starting in bout 2 weeks time, and i wished that i was in another course, oh well, its too late to turn back now, its already year 2 and a half. i don't wanna drop out out now and waste my 2 years here.
oh well, i went with si kiat and jia ming yesterday. and it just hit me when i was on my way home, i really miss those times that we were the best of friends, when we fucked around in and outside of school and get nabbed together. those were the days man. ah, maybe i should hang out with them more.
anyway, baby's feeling sick i guess, should've met her today and made her feel better. i'm sorry i didn't baby. i find myseld wanting her more and more nowadays, i don't know why, maybe its because i've been thinking too much bout life. oh well, she's the only good thing that has happened to me the whole of this year.
and yeah, i'm gonna re-do my fork colour tomorrow to either raw or black, not sure if i wanna redo my frame colour too. i just suddenly feel that i want a black bike, something that's really dull, looks better too i guess. gonna wake up early too. ahhh. i'm so damn bored. maybe i'll go and play my ps2 or watch tv for awhile. ciao!
sign, sealed and delivered @ 3.39am
ahhh. i'm so bored. i don't ride much nowadays, i don't really go out often, oh my, life is becoming dull. fuck probation seriously, because of it, my life is screwing up because i can't do the usual things that i like doing. anyway, got a job down at barracks, which is this restaurant at dempsey road, across botanic gardens, ah, pay's good. 7bucks per hour and its almost 14hours a day and 6 day a week, niceee. my new bike is gonna come sooner or later, i got so much stuffs to buy, itouch, a new nano, shuffle, new jeans and i fucking need a new pair of kicks. ahhh. so little money but yet so much stuffs to buy. timetable is shit for next sem too. even though it starts lateat 10 bout everyday, it ends bout 4. i had rather start early and end early. argh. the 2 retained modules are sucha pain in the ass. gotta take my maths with freshies too.
i so wanna ride nowadays, but i've lost that motivaton that kick started my bmx life 6months ago. i can't be bothered to learn my 360s. i just don't feel the want to push myself anymore. ahhh. i don't know whats happening. school's starting in bout 2 weeks time, and i wished that i was in another course, oh well, its too late to turn back now, its already year 2 and a half. i don't wanna drop out out now and waste my 2 years here.
oh well, i went with si kiat and jia ming yesterday. and it just hit me when i was on my way home, i really miss those times that we were the best of friends, when we fucked around in and outside of school and get nabbed together. those were the days man. ah, maybe i should hang out with them more.
anyway, baby's feeling sick i guess, should've met her today and made her feel better. i'm sorry i didn't baby. i find myseld wanting her more and more nowadays, i don't know why, maybe its because i've been thinking too much bout life. oh well, she's the only good thing that has happened to me the whole of this year.
and yeah, i'm gonna re-do my fork colour tomorrow to either raw or black, not sure if i wanna redo my frame colour too. i just suddenly feel that i want a black bike, something that's really dull, looks better too i guess. gonna wake up early too. ahhh. i'm so damn bored. maybe i'll go and play my ps2 or watch tv for awhile. ciao!
sign, sealed and delivered @ 3.39am
Monday, September 17, 2007
early monday evening
sup y'all.
ahh. baby's away at her chalet and i'm sitting here dying of boredom and i' m definately missing her. anyway, my probation starts today, starts at 11pm but there's a catch, i canstay out if there's parents consent. hahaha! suck on this jiaming. my curfew owns yours. hahaha. anyway, i've some upgrades on my bike! wawaweewa. very pimped. look at the pictures below! haha. gotta go ride! i miss you darling! =(
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
mid wednesday afternoon
sup y'all.
the past few days hadn't been good i guess. i met baby on monday, went around looking for stuffs and i finally bought my superman belt. she wasn't into talking that much that day and i don't know why, i tried cheering her up but it didn't seem to work. sigh, do you really have be that unhappy to actually hurt the person that has been trying to cheer you up the entire day? i tried so hard, and i asked for was for you to cheer up, not be at the back end of your wrath...
been crashing alot on my 360s the past few days too. knee don't feel very good. didn't ride yesterday, went to drink. didn't have the mood to too. sorry guys.
being a nice guy doesn't always pay... i tried, but you didn't seem to helping out... and it felt like a slap in the face.
byeee.
the past few days hadn't been good i guess. i met baby on monday, went around looking for stuffs and i finally bought my superman belt. she wasn't into talking that much that day and i don't know why, i tried cheering her up but it didn't seem to work. sigh, do you really have be that unhappy to actually hurt the person that has been trying to cheer you up the entire day? i tried so hard, and i asked for was for you to cheer up, not be at the back end of your wrath...
been crashing alot on my 360s the past few days too. knee don't feel very good. didn't ride yesterday, went to drink. didn't have the mood to too. sorry guys.
being a nice guy doesn't always pay... i tried, but you didn't seem to helping out... and it felt like a slap in the face.
byeee.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
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early saturday morning.
Hello! hahaha. my girlfriend made me do this. =(
1. (the person who tagged you is) - shan pheng
2. (your relationship with him/her is) - my girlfriend
3. (5 impressions you have of him/her) - looks like a malay, really loving, she needs me, noisy(don't kill me for saying this baby! hahaha), short!
4. (the most memorable thing he/she has done for you) - that very first kiss!
5. (the most memorable words he/she has said to you) - "i don't know how to say it, but yeah." which was her way of saying i do! hahaha.
6. (if he/she becomes your lover, you will) - she already is.
7. (if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be) - not poking me.
8. (if he/she becomes your enemy, you will) - box her if she pisses me off. hahaha
9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be) - break-up? lovers or enemies. its either one.
10. (the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is) - in her embrace.
11. (your overall impression of him/her is) - she's my superwoman!
12. (how you think people around you will feel about you) - i'm a butch.
13. (the characteristic you hate about yourself is) - i trust people too easily.
14. (the most ideal person you want to be is) - my mum! =)
15. (for people that care and like you, say something to them) - thanks for everything guys!
16. (pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you)
1. SHAN PHENG
2. SI KIAT
3. JIA MING
4. SHERMAIN
5. LUKE
6. HAFIZ
7. SYAZ
8. MUNZIR
9. SIN YEE
10. WATTANA
(who is no.6 having a relationship with?) - atiqah.
(Is no.9 a male or female?) - male
(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?) -Hell no. he isn't half the man she needs.
(What is no.2 studying?) - SIM Diploma in Management
(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?) - teacher's day
(What kind of music does no.8 like?) - blink 182!
(Does no.1 has any siblings?) - 3sisters!
(Will you woo no.3?) - fuck no, i'm straight.
(How about no.7?) - we used to be together.
(Is no.4 single?) - yepp
(What’s the surname of no.5?) - pinnefather
(What’s the hobby of no.4?) - going to cafe del mar!
(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?) - er, acquitance.
(Say something casual about no.1) - she's mine.
(Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?) - fuck no, i'm straight.
(Where does no.9 live?) -bukit gombak
(What colour does no.4 like?) - black and red
(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?) - no, normal friends. haha
(Does no.7 like no.2?) - they have not met.
(How did you get to know no.2?) - secondary school, sitting partner.
(Does no.1 have any pets?) - am i considered one?
(Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?) - no! but she thinks she is. hahaha.
1. (the person who tagged you is) - shan pheng
2. (your relationship with him/her is) - my girlfriend
3. (5 impressions you have of him/her) - looks like a malay, really loving, she needs me, noisy(don't kill me for saying this baby! hahaha), short!
4. (the most memorable thing he/she has done for you) - that very first kiss!
5. (the most memorable words he/she has said to you) - "i don't know how to say it, but yeah." which was her way of saying i do! hahaha.
6. (if he/she becomes your lover, you will) - she already is.
7. (if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be) - not poking me.
8. (if he/she becomes your enemy, you will) - box her if she pisses me off. hahaha
9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be) - break-up? lovers or enemies. its either one.
10. (the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is) - in her embrace.
11. (your overall impression of him/her is) - she's my superwoman!
12. (how you think people around you will feel about you) - i'm a butch.
13. (the characteristic you hate about yourself is) - i trust people too easily.
14. (the most ideal person you want to be is) - my mum! =)
15. (for people that care and like you, say something to them) - thanks for everything guys!
16. (pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you)
1. SHAN PHENG
2. SI KIAT
3. JIA MING
4. SHERMAIN
5. LUKE
6. HAFIZ
7. SYAZ
8. MUNZIR
9. SIN YEE
10. WATTANA
(who is no.6 having a relationship with?) - atiqah.
(Is no.9 a male or female?) - male
(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?) -Hell no. he isn't half the man she needs.
(What is no.2 studying?) - SIM Diploma in Management
(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?) - teacher's day
(What kind of music does no.8 like?) - blink 182!
(Does no.1 has any siblings?) - 3sisters!
(Will you woo no.3?) - fuck no, i'm straight.
(How about no.7?) - we used to be together.
(Is no.4 single?) - yepp
(What’s the surname of no.5?) - pinnefather
(What’s the hobby of no.4?) - going to cafe del mar!
(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?) - er, acquitance.
(Say something casual about no.1) - she's mine.
(Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?) - fuck no, i'm straight.
(Where does no.9 live?) -bukit gombak
(What colour does no.4 like?) - black and red
(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?) - no, normal friends. haha
(Does no.7 like no.2?) - they have not met.
(How did you get to know no.2?) - secondary school, sitting partner.
(Does no.1 have any pets?) - am i considered one?
(Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?) - no! but she thinks she is. hahaha.
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