early thursday morning.

yeah. its the deepavali holidays.

just got home from work. been a really fucked up day... besides the booze i downed unreluctantly, there were just so many shit going on. i downed bout 6 small sized bottles of champange. it was good. and yeah... after i was talking to someone. and yeah, i'm pretty sure i made a helload of sense towards what i was saying to her and she kept denying the obvious truth... please. i know you well enough.. denial would not make u an overnight heroine nor will it make you a good drinker... i was worried, i cared, i opened up to you, i had a heart to heart talk with you, but you just kept denying and denying. fuck it, whats up with not being good at it? it wouldn't make you a loser. i was the one cleaning up all the shit after your sessions. and just a sorry and a hug wouldn't make it any better. sorry, i'm an ass, i know but yeah, talking to you was sooooooo fucked up, you were so lucky i kept it within. anger that is... ahhh. why does it always backfire when i actually really care bout someone? its fucking jinx.. i fine myself once again feeling so fucked. i was like so tipsy halfway through work that i slept on the empty wine boxes for half an hour before continuing. my head is feeling so bummed now. ahh. its better if i went to bed...

and to xiang ying who i confided in... thank you... and yeah... it wasn't how i wanted it to be but at least you replied... and yeah. maybe it just isn't a good time to talk because i'm feeling really shit after the booze and all. sorry. nights then

signed, sealed & delivered @ 4.55am.

early monday afternoon.

STOP IT bout the rowena thing xiang ying!!!!! hahahaha

there's someone else. haha. =)

early monday morning

suuuuupppp.

haha. ahhh. been a wonderful week, went pubbing twice this week and i spent a hell load of money, but oh well, there's a price to everything. hahaha. i went pubbing on wednesday with kelvin and rowena. it was alright la, didn't drink much, just a few bottles, but rowena had one and she was down! hahaha. com'on buddy. u gotta improveeeeee!

saturday booze was with shanker and rowena. went to meet rowena for dinner at fish & co., ahh. then we were like hanging out waiting for shanker. yeah, well, the 3of us cliqued really well. surprise surprise. yeah. we went back to barracks to have a bucket of asahi. haha. rowena was high after. oooops. hahaha. worse still, we had bourbon coke after, 2 glasses, that made it worse for her. hahaha. everyone that worked last night now know who's the better drinker rowena. hahaha. then after she was high and all and we decided to walk to taka where they were having that subaru impreza challenge, i had an amsterdam, and they had a tall can of carlsberg. ahhh. that was when the kick started kicking in. hahaha. maybe i drank a tad too fast and yeah half way through my head started to spin, but oh well, i still really enjoyed myself, didnt do anything stupid but yeah. hahaha. after that i brought rowena back again. oh well, a girl's safety is important! so yeah, i did and she got knocked out in the cab. hahaha. after sending her back, shanker and i continued drinking at a coffee shop. ahh. i was really bummed after, we stayed long enough for the first train, parted ways there, and i slept all the way from yio chu kang to jurong east. no interruptions, train driver had to wake me up. damn. hahaha. when i got home, i was feeling super bummed and i just changed and went to bed straight since i figured i was still really clean and stuff. hahah. slept til 5 and went to work and shanker and i were like talking bout what happened. hahaha. rowena, we all know your dirty little secret. hahaha.

well, it was really a great week, hadn't had so much fun in sucha long time, i really cherish friends and times like that these. ahh. they're gonna do it coming sat again. haha. i'll probably be down for it, and i'm gonna be rich bitch, pay's coming in. 2 pay cheques. yeahhh. hahaha. there's only a few things left to buy, a new belt, a psp and probably expanding my wardrobe. haha. i got my i touch already. weeee. hahahaha. anyway, i gotta go before my net fucks up on me again. nights! blog tmr in class.

late monday morning

sup y'all.

currently in class now. feeling so f-ing tired now. suppose to in classby 10, i got in at 1030, been riding for the last 3days, going to somerset park to ride for 2 days and b3 on the other. ahhh. my ankle and wrist are at the end of the daily bashing and crashing. oh well, at least its fun.

anyway, i've still been feeling quite shit as of late... i need someone to talk to, but sometimes i had rather keep it within myself. i don't know why. i don't know whats wrong with me these days but something important has been missing in my life. Maybe i just need time to adapt... oh well... i'm off, byeee.

sign, sealed & delivered @ 11.01am

early thursday morning

weee. sup y'all.

been feeling better after i let it all out. anyway, went back to ride on sunday and tuesday. oh man, how i missed it. the feeling of crashing, the feeling of landing a trick, the feeling of being free from everything, the feeling just seems perpetual. maybe i should ride more. ahhh.

anyway, i've been doing some dumb things to my bike, making it ever more colourful. haha. yeah, pics be up tmr, paint's drying up now as i type.

been having some serious soul searching lately and i believe that eventually, everything will just settle down. i just thought it was better for us. and i hoped you understand.

well, school's been shit as usual, trying to find time between work and school to ride. oh well, i hope to improve before year end. well. gotta go again. ciao!

signed, sealed & delievered @ 12.52am.

early saturday morning

life's been pretty shit recently. there's so many things on my mind and i wished i could run away from all these and leave it behind. i tried so hard everyday, but it never seemed to work. thanks for all those who've been there, i really appreciate it. i really don't know what to do... i'm losing my mind.



i wished that i could say i still love you like i do yesterday... i keep thinking of the good memories and try to stay away from the bad ones. surely and silently, i'm breaking down and tears have fallen... i just want you to give me something to believe in, something that would direct me away from the negative thoughts, something that would keep me away from wanting to leave... i can't continue on like these anymore... i love you but i'm sorry... things just hasn't been working out for the past few months, i've tried my very best... but it just feels like a slap in the face each time because i fail to cheer you up. i know i shouldn't give up because i've never did for the past 3 years... but i'm really tired... of being the one thats trying with all his heart and soul to cheer you up everyday, of being the one whom keeps getting hurt and being the one whom always gives in.



all i ask for is for you to be who you once were. the girl i so deeply loved, the girl i was so crazy for...



i love you shan pheng. i really do.

but...



i'm sorry that i've been such a big failure.

mid monday morning

hello everyone! good morning!

ahh. haven't been blogging for so long, anyway, i went shopping already, got a new crumpler complete seed, 2 jeans, 2 tops, davidoff edt and a pair of slippers. weee. hehe. anyway! ahh, been working for the past weeks til late so i didn't have the time to blog, and damn, i'm waiting for my pay to come. gotta pay for my new wheels man. haha. ah, i bought a mtb too, pics gonna be up soon.

i don't really have much to say except that school is starting, aiyo. and i'm still working on weekdays, i haven't even got time to ride my bike, and i've been missing my girlfriend so much. ahhh. baby! meet me soon okay? =)

anyway, gotta go off. blog again tomorrow or something during class! ciao!

signed, sealed & delivered @ 10.45am.